Both kids are down for their naps. I know I should nap but I don’t really feel like it. Actually, I don’t feel like doing anything. I don’t want to cook, I don’t want to clean, I don’t want to nap. I think I’ve entered that stage of pregnancy where I am just eager to get to the end. This pregnancy has been much more difficult than my previous two. I am already aching and tired. I have horrible acid indigestion. My pants are getting tighter by the day. The pants part disturbs me only because um, they are sweat pants.

I wonder about this baby. I wonder how he/she will be accepted by my two children. I already feel like I give more attention to my older girl than the boy. He’s had such the second child shaft. Luckily, he’s a relatively easy going and happy kid, so he probably doesn’t even notice. Also, I’m a middle child and I turned out fine. Heh. Sure…

We’ve been contemplating when to start preschool for E. She turns 4 this fall and I know she’s ready and could use some time outside the house with other children. I’m just not sure if I’m ready. I feel like I just got the opportunity to quit my job and spend these formative years with them. I know preschool is only 3 hours a day, twice a week but just the thought that she’d be away from me for that time makes me a little sad. Now, I’m sure I’ll feel differently when I have three kids to worry about day in and day out, but right now I like having her home with me. She’s like my little assistant - she gets the diapers when it’s time to change O, loves to help me in the kitchen and just keeps me company with her constant chatter and laughter. Also, the kids play really well together most of the time so it allows me to just sit back and relax once in a while.

However, on the flip side I do see the need to spend some quality alone time with O. Once in a while he’ll wake up from his nap earlier than his sister and so we get some quiet time to ourselves. I sit back and observe how much he enjoys just having my full atention on him rather than sharing the spotlight with his sister. I don’t think he really minds because he just adores his big sister, but it nice to have that bonding time without someone else jostling for my attention. He is definitely the less jealous of the two… so far.