Here’s the scenario:
I am babysitting my friend’s daughter. She is about 9 months younger than my daughter, who will be four soon. I have some steadfast rules when it comes to eating and playing, namely that there will be no running around and playing while eating. Mealtimes are meant to be spent at the table, eating. Play time is when they can run around and be free. Also, I only offer one choice of food during mealtimes. I never cook different things for different children depending on their tastes. I just do not “do” picky eaters. If they don’t want it, they can eat later. Or never. It’s their choice, really.
So, I prepare lunch and have them eat on their mini picnic table outside on the patio. Friend’s daughter is jumping up and down, ignoring her food which she states she does not like. Cheese quesadilla. What’s not to like, right? Anyways, I decide if she’s not going to sit down and eat, then I will take away her quesadilla and her milk. She has not eaten anything besides this and I’m sure she didn’t eat much this morning. Besides, I know a large pregnant woman who will GLADLY eat the leftover cheese quesadilla.
Question: Because it is not my child and I am being paid to watch her, do I cave and give her something else that she will eat, or do I stand by my rules and hope she will eat later when another snack is offered? At this rate, it looks like she will have not eaten one thing while at my house.
I try to treat my friend’s children the same as my children. We are a pretty close knit group and spend a lot of time together and the general consensus is that any of us is allowed to discipline one of the children if need be. However, is this situation different because I am being paid to watch this child? I guess it just feels more complicated because I am being paid to watch her as opposed to just having her over for a playdate.
Anyways, I’m sure it’s not a big deal. I am just curious as to what others do/would do in this situation. I don’t consider myself a completely strict discplinarian but I do have certain rules and manners I try to instill in my children and naturally I apply these to the kids that are in my care as well.
July 1, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Hmmm, the money does complicate things. I wouldn’t offer her anything else for lunch, but then just offer her the normal snack. If kids are really hungry, they will eat, right? I’m with you on the only-offer-one-thing rule, and it has worked out pretty well for us.
July 2, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Sigh… can I pay you to be MY babysitter? LN has a hard time with the sitting down to eat part as it is a new thing I’ve introduced to her… (old place, we sat around a coffee table, TV would be on or she’d be right next to her activities…
I would have done the same… I guess my question would be - what if she requested a snack (let’s say acceptably healthy snack) within an hour or refusing to eat lunch? LN sometimes does that - she will only eat a few bites, tells me she’s done… then in about an hour, will ask if she could have a banana or yoghurt or whatever. I can never say no - but I do wonder if I’m encouraging a bad habit.
July 3, 2008 at 3:04 am
The complicating factor is your child, not the money. The other mom is paying YOU to babysit. YOU and all of you. But you need to maintain order in your home, the way you want, with your child. This other child needs to know that YOU, the adult, rule.
If she wants a snack later, lift off the aluminum foil and say “ta da! here’s some wonderful cheese quesadillas!” I think she’ll learn pretty quickly that at YOUR house, YOU rule.
July 3, 2008 at 3:20 am
I’d stick to your rules. The child missing one meal is not going to hurt her. Wow, I can’t believe you are taking on babysitting when you are preggers.
July 9, 2008 at 10:10 pm
i agree with the others. stand your ground. i do the “one thing” for meals (most of the time) and you know what? they eat it. i don’t let them have another snack if it’s within an hour or so either. and nothing to eat AFTER dinner. life is already complicated. i don’t need another level of complications. otherwise you’ll be making all sorts of meals for all sorts of children . . . you made the right choice.
July 10, 2008 at 2:20 am
If this is a one-time deal, then I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just do what feels right for you. You can offer the quesadilla (or another healthy snack) if she’s hungry later.
I guess I would discuss it with her mother if you will be babysitting her daughter regularly.