Kid,
You’re cute and all, but here’s the thing. We have got to talk about this waking up three times a night thing. C’mon now. Remember those days when I would have to wake you up to shove a boob in your mouth?
Remember? REMEMBER? Of course not!
It is now a nightly ritual for you to wake up at 12:00. And then, two hours later. A mere two hours! You wake up again. Gurgling and screeching in your crib. I shove a pacifier in your mouth, desperate to stave off your hunger for another hour or so. But to no avail. Screech, Screech, Screech. I grumpily roll out of bed, grab you by the pj’s and nurse you with my eyes closed. 10 minutes later, you are peacefully mumbling to yourself and I lay you back down. Then? Two! more! hours! later! you insist on even more sustenance. Incidentally, once I nurse you for the last time before going to work, you decide to let Daddy sleep in and do not wake up for another four hours or so. How lucky for Daddy. Oh, and by the way, that’s not funny.
By this time, the sun is rising and Mama needs to throw herself in the shower, headfirst. If I’m really tired, I wash my hair sitting down in the tub. That’s more than a little pathetic, isn’t it? I know. Cannot be helped. I’m tired. My eyes look like they’re about to go on vacation, because the bags? They are packed. My clothes all have that familiar wrinkle to them and my hair is wack. Wiggity wiggity wack. See? I’m quoting bad rap. Something must be done.
Ok, I am off to go appear busy and work and drain yet another fruitless cup of coffee. I’ll wait for the day you decide to do me a huge favor and sleep.For at least 3 or 4 hours. Maybe. MAYBE. Even through the night? Please? But until then, I suppose you can use your dashing good looks and toothless grin to charm me in the middle of the night.
